99% of the time my daughter is very well behaved. She loves people. People love her. She is brilliant for a fourteen year old. I can have an adult conversation with her, and she participates in it. She speaks sarcasm as a second language, which she obviously learned from me. She was student body officer, she plays volleyball, she participates in the "best-buddies" program at school, and she attends the special needs mutual as a volunteer.
This last week, however, has been a total nightmare! I don't know what her problem is, but this last week has been the worse ever! Even her friends are running in the opposite direction. At night, I even hide under my blanket and say a prayer for comfort. It's so scary here. Okay, maybe not THAT bad.
Earlier in the week, I had just walked through the door when a friend stopped by. So, I visited with them for a few minutes (about an hour). As soon as this person left, Savanna and I ran to the store to pick up a couple things for dinner. I raced through the door, threw it all together (with Sadie's help). I threw dinner in the oven and within five minutes, my visiting teachers were knocking at my door.
I love my visiting teachers and I love chatting with them too. This is my "me" time, I guess. They stayed about 45 minutes. By the time they left, dinner was ready and on the table. No sooner as I sat down and took two bites, TWO bites!!, Sophie tells me she has no goodnights (Ohhhh, I pray the day she grows out of this crap). So, I am off to the store again.
As I get up from the table, only eating half my dinner, I tell Savanna to clean up after dinner (I even said please). OM-Goodness! Things went flying! The neighbors could hear her yelling at me, "why do I have to do it?!" I told her three times to stop yelling at me. Her response, there's an echo in the house. I even attempted to start the conversation over again and walked back into the kitchen saying, "let's try this again". Yep! That was a mistake. I thought she would have gotten the hint, she is an A student, you know. But, she didn't. She just picked up right where she left off. So, I told her, "because I am the mom and I told you to do it!"
I didn't want to return from the store after that one, but there's only so much to look at in Harmons. I knew I should have went to Wal-Mart instead. You know, the one in Kentucky. Anyway, I got home and lo and behold, dinner was put in the fridge but all the dishes were piled in the sink! Grrrrrr
I looked at John and said, "what the crap? Did I not tell her to clean up dinner?"
"You never said do the dishes though", he replied.
So, I called for Savanna and she too said that I never told her to do the dishes. How in the world is she supposed to know that the dishes have to be included unless I specify? So, I told her, the previous fourteen years of her life I never specified and the dishes were done! Today, is no different. Therefore, let me specify now. I told her the dishes needed to be done right now and, she can bring me her Kindle, ipod, and her cell phone. Oh, and specifically, you're grounded so you may want to tell your friends tomorrow at school that you aren't going to the movie with them Saturday. Is that specific enough for you?
Then she began to yell again. This time, I was smart. I didn't want to yell back because well, I've gotten tired in my old age, so I merely told her to go to her room. I will do the dishes, but she's grounded and no way am I going to listen to that.
About an hour and a half later, we had family prayer. Of course, Savanna sat there an moped. When all was said and done, I headed off to bed. I told her to go to bed and she yells, "I am!" I calmly said, "No, you're still sitting on the couch."
She yells again, "Well, can't we talk about this?!"
"Not now" I reply, "I'm going to bed. You've had all night. It's after nine now"
"But, can I earn them back?!" She yells from the front room.
"Of course you can earn them back" I say from inside my room.
That was the end of that. Well, until the very next day. Not one word was said all morning. I watched the news. I applied my make-up, all while getting the stink-eye. I figured she would come around (I was wrong).
On the way home from work, I called to have Sadie make meatloaf. Sadie had a headache and since Sophie is only six, I had to ask Savanna. She was okay with making the meatloaf and mashed potatoes. But as soon as that was all said and done, she began to yell at me again.
This time, she's upset that I am ignoring her. No mother, if they love their child, should ignore them, she says. I kindly told her, "Savanna, you were with me all morning. You had every opportunity to talk to me and you've made a choice not too. I am driving down the road now and cannot talk about this. We will have to talk later."
I arrived home about 7pm. We didn't have family prayer until well after nine. I felt as though Savanna had every opportunity to talk about the recent events at this time. She still, never said a word. She just glared at me. So, I went to bed.
The next morning, I asked her if she wanted to talk about the past couple days events and she very abruptly told me "No. There's nothing to talk about". I asked her if she knew why she was grounded. She replied because the dishes weren't done. The dishes themselves were the least of the problems here. I tried explaining to her that her attitude stinks.
I got the "whatever" attitude and well, I totally lost my cool. Finally, I looked her square in the eye and told her she has an attitude "sucks balls" and I can give it right back. It was then, that I did something I never thought I would ever do.
I gave my daughter the middle finger. Yes. I flipped off Savanna and I walked out of the room. Poor John just looked at me and with eyes filled with tears I said, "I just flipped her off!"
"Well, at least it wasn't the six year old," he laughed.
Oh geez. I never thought I'd do something like that. I've tried to talk with her, but she isn't going too. Things are still distant between us, but we can talk about other things. I did tell her I was sorry for flipping her off. She in turn advised me, she nearly gave me the bird back.
I told her that would have been a pretty dumb move on her part. The chances would have been pretty good that she would no longer have a middle finger. Or at least a not very straight one. She also informed me that she told all her friends that I flipped her off.
According to Savanna, she told her friends what happened and they laughed at her. However, according to Sadie, they also told her she has had an attitude. I didn't say anything to that. I just smiled on the inside.
I guess we will see what this week brings. I am hoping her attitude will get better. I do not want to adjust it for her (unless I have too, than I will). I'm thinking the teenage years are the worst ever. It's no wonder my mother dyed her hair so often when I was in high school.
No comments:
Post a Comment